Thursday, May 03, 2007

Damning with loud praise

Okay, this is going to sound weird, but I am having a problem with getting too much praise at work.

Perhaps I should put this into context...

I am currently on rotation in my dream office. For the first few weeks, I was pretty bored, partly because there wasn't really anything for my to sink my teeth into, partly because I hadn't built up credibility and trust in the group for them to hand me work, and partly because there was a great deal of uncertainty with how best to use me. I took on a project that I have worked on in my previous life in my home office - one that is vitally important to the credibility of the organization in the planning and budgeting process that no one else wants to do, but really, at the end of the day, doesn't represent what the office does primarily and what I want to do.

In any case, just to have something to do.. I took this project to it's logical end, with respectable results. They've never had anyone do this kind of work/analysis at this level, so it borders on the second coming of God from there perspective or something. At least, that's how they praise me.

As nice as it is, and as much good as it is doing for my reputation within several very important areas, I think it actually might be hurting me in the long run. I've not gotten too much of an opportunity to explore other projects in the office, both because I've been completely buried in the work that I have been doing, and because people know I'm doing this project, and are likely not to think of me in handing over additional work. I'm getting praise for skills that frankly I know are my strengths, and I'm not learning what types of skills they are looking for when they have an open FTE slot, and I'm not really getting the chance to develop those skills. I'm not learning about what weaknesses or deficiencies I have with respect to the needs that they have.

I've always fervently believed that praise is nice, but constructive criticism is better. It takes more time to deliver, more thought to form, and does more for me in the long run. I feel like a comet that only passes by Earth once every 100 million years - I saw this rotation as the opportunity of a lifetime, and I worry that it might become a glancing blow as I then am stuck in a different trajectory.

I know... oh woe is me, to have such petty problems. But when you get so close to something that you've been aiming for for 2 years, putting up with immense amounts of BS for just the opportunity to make an entree, knowing that you might not be getting what you need out of it is frustrating.

Frick.

1 comment:

Ess El said...

I suppose that you cannot just say "So, I did this for you all as a bonus--what else do you have for me?" in this job...