I knew it was going to happen

Today was a long but wonderful day! I drove up to Jersey for lunch with some friends from high school - some of whom I hadn't seen in 14 years! We had a fantastic time, and despite the fact that we were together for 4+ hours, we only scratched the surface of all the stuff we could have talked about.

There was one event which threatened to mar my day. I had just gotten onto the DC Beltway off of 270. A woman in a white car in the far left lane was yammering on her cell phone, drifting occasionally into the near-far left lane and going about 15-20 miles slower than the speed of traffic. Naturally, I was in a bit of a hurry, so I downshifted, punched it, and passed the woman on the right, going about 75 miles an hour.

Then, out of the corner of my eye, I spot the cop sitting on the far right shoulder. Sh*t.

Sure enough, 2 minutes later I look in my rear view mirror and see the cop closing in fast, lights off, but unmistakably coming after me. I begin to pull to the right, and finally he's right behind me, lights flashing, and I know I'm toast. Ever since I got the car and started appreciating how much pep there is under the hood, I was pretty mentally prepared to get a speeding ticket.

Resigned to my fate, I pull over onto the side of the road - pulling over as far as I possibly can, since this is the Beltway and I don't want it to be dangerous for him. I roll my window down, leave my hands on the wheel, and wait for him to come to my window.

"Hello ma'am. Do you know why I've pulled you over today?"

Internal response "Hm. Was it the speeding or the passing on the right or the reckless driving or all three?"

Actual response "No sir I don't."

At this point I'm waiting to hear how fast he's clocked me going, how dangerous it is to pass on the right, yada yada yada. What I didn't expect to hear is this:

"Ma'am. Do you know that your front license plate is missing, which is required by Maryland state law?"

Internal response "WHAT?"

Actual response "Yes sir I do know. I haven't had it installed."

"Ma'am. Do you have your front plate?"

"Yes sir. It's in my backseat on the floor."

"Ma'am, I can't see it back there. Can you show me?"

So I reach around to the back seat and luckily can reach it fairly easily under the roadmap. I show it to him and he seems satisfied.

"Ma'am, can I have your license and registration please?"

At this point I remember reading somewhere that a cop can get nervous when you start digging through stuff looking for these things, because for all he knows you're pulling out a gun or something. I remembered reading that you should always state what you are going to do before you do it, so I tell the officer that my license is in my purse and I'm going to reach in and get it. I do exactly that and hand it to him. I then tell him that the registration is in the glove compartment and that I am going to open it up and reach in there and get that, which I do. This cop is like 10 years old, he's clearly young and new. No need to spook him or anything.

Anyway he takes my info and goes back to his car for like 10 minutes. He comes back and I see a white slip of paper in his hands.

Internal response "Sh*t. I'm getting a ticket."

"Ma'am. Since you have your plate, I'm only going to give you a warning today."

"Thank you sir, that's very kind. I'll have it installed as soon as possible."

And then... thinking that I've basically gotten away with murder at this point, since he clearly didn't catch me speeding or passing on the right... he says:

"Have a nice day ma'am. And please drive safer."

HAH! He totally pulled me over for the speeding, but since I was so cute in my Bug, with my sunglasses on, iPod in the cupholder, he just couldn't bear to give me a real ticket.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Fun fact: The song playing when I got pulled over - "Just Stop" by Disturbed.