Allow me to step onto my soapbox for a moment...

As it says in my profile, I adore sharks. Ever since I was a little girl, watching Shawn Weatherly, a former Miss Universe, freak out over being close to Great White Sharks on "Ocean Quest," I have been utterly and completely fascinated by these wonderful examples of perfect design. Sleek, fast, hunters that lived long before the dinosaurs evolved and survived long after.

The sad truth is that their existence is threatened by the one predator with the power to destroy everything on earth: man. From the demand for shark-fin soup (with horrifying consequences) in Asia, to the indiscriminate killing that results from gillnet, driftnet, purse seine, and longline fisheries where they are simply bycatch - not targeted, and in most cases not commercially marketable.

Because of the images that resulted from "Jaws" and media sensationalism that results from rare but captivating shark attacks, sharks have been demonised in the same way and with the same results as coyotes in the West. Science, people, and indeed even government policy is finally beginning to realize that sharks are a critical element of healthy ocean ecosystems, and their demise heralds the demise of the oceans as a whole.

This article in the NY Times is just one example of how the balance of the ocean's ecosystems has been upset by the removal of its apex predators. Fewer sharks = fewer scallops; a connection I'm not sure many lay people would make, but for the information presented in the article. Killing "big, scary monsters" means that there are fewer yummy scallops, which means your scallops wrapped in bacon are going to get must more expensive, if you can get them at all.

One of the reasons I love working at NOAA, even on the worst days when I curse the inefficiency or red tape involved in working in a huge bureaucracy, is because perhaps, in some small way, the work that I do will save my sharks. Please, when you are trying to decide what to buy for dinner, look at the Monterey Bay Aquarium Seafood Watch list and make an ecologically sustainable and responsible choice, or look at the Marine Stewardship Council's website to see what fisheries are being managed the best. Frankly, for all the crap the US gets with respect to the environment, our fisheries management policies and regulations, including monitoring and enforcement, are some of the best in the world. Buy US products - avoid European and Asian imported fish and seafood. Buy trolled or trap caught when possible. I know it costs a little more, but doing the right thing sometimes means making sacrifices.

This problem is getting more and more attention all the time; check out this month's National Geographic for great articles and depressing pictures on the state of the world's living marine resources.

The search is over...

Much to DH's delight, the search for Stephen Colbert's Americone Dream is now over for our household. I found it today while out for lunch in downtown Silver Spring. The Ben and Jerry's store had it behind the counter, so I picked up a pint (for $6!) to bring home to my true love.

Of course, I called him immediately to share the happy news, and his response was "isn't it going to melt on your train ride home?"

Jerk.

In any case, I haven't even tried it yet (I'll update when I do) but I did get it home a little softer than optimal but no worse for wear. I also updated these folks, who are mapping the spread of the Americone Dream across the nation!

I've done my part.. now where's that ice cream.


The Verdict: Pretty damn tasty

Relive your childhood on YouTube

So, while I'm not a fan of children, I do get nostalgic for things I enjoyed as a child. And, being a kid of the MTV generation, who was practically raised by the TV, ad executives everywhere will be happy to know that I have retained a cache of the catchy tunes from TV shows and commercials, probably where my knowledge of calculus and chemistry was supposed to go.

There have been a couple of those themes bouncing around in my head lately. One I was able to locate on YouTube, the other - which is probably way more obscure - is still yet to be discovered.

I present The Pointer Sisters (really?) singing the 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10-11-12 pinball musical interlude from Sesame Street, courtesy of YouTube. Simply awesome.



Now if only I could find that "Beet, beet, sugar beet" song, where they were showing the harvest and processing of sugar beets, life would be perfect.

P.S. YouTube is also an awesome place for finding the opening montages of 80's cartoons, like "Jem," "The Transformers," "Care Bears," and "Thundercats." I'll never forget those theme songs - which I guess means I'll never learn statistics.

Dreaming of sailing away

In preparation for the sailing class that DH and I are taking in July, I've spent a considerable amount of time daydreaming about the world of possibilities sailing would open up to us. I'd like to think that by the time we're 50, we'd be able to take a year or two and just sail from tropical port to tropical port.

In my search I came across this account of a solo sailor who sailed around the world, encountering storms, no winds, and even pirates on his travels. Reading his experience made me realize that a) no matter how much I love being on the water, I do not have the mindset that would keep me from going insane when sailing for 3 weeks out of sight of all land from Hawaii to the Marquesas and b) while I'm not a fan of having a gun in my home, you can be darn sure that if I were living aboard a sailboat, I'd be packing heat!

I really hope that DH and I have a strong enough relationship to be each other's sailing crew. I guess we'll test that out this summer!

Desperately seeking vacation

Ahhh it's that time of year when I am typically obsessing over vacation plans. Last year I was obsessing over the details of DH's and my 5th anniversary trip to St John, US Virgin Islands (with Jeffro and CC), the year before that was Key Colony Beach in the Florida Keys, and the year before that was Florence-Tuscany-Venice-Rome, Italy.

This year was a real challenge. We had already paid for the sailing class from when DH was in FL for work, but which we had to cancel when they shipped him back home, so we needed to reschedule that. But going to Florida to take the class didn't seem like enough of a vacation, and going to the BVIs was too expensive for what we would have wanted to do. Our vacation schedule (where we're supposed to "travel" one year and "vacation" the next) had us scheduled for London/Paris, but with exchange rates the way they are, that was just too expensive an option too.

We finally opted for an "active" vacation with some relaxation thrown in for good measure. So we're planning on a weekend on Captiva Island in FL for our Learn to Sail class, then onto Grand Cayman for a week of beaching and diving. The diving club we got our Open Water class and pool work done through has organized trips every month to Grand Cayman, so we are going to hook up with them in the latter part of the week, leaving us 5 days of beachtime between sailing and diving.

Unfortunately, we're not going until July, so pray that there are no early season hurricanes and that I can make it that long!

Yeah, it's been a while.. so what

I thought I'd add a filler post since it's been a while. Not much new is going on - this weather is crap and keeps me from getting things done around the house, plus we keep starting new projects before finishing old ones (case in point - bought a timer switch we saw on a home show that controls the bathroom fan, but still haven't sanded or primed the bathroom walls). I'm feeling great... absolutely no lingering anything from the "procedure."

Today we did go on a little search for Stephen Colbert's new Ben & Jerry's ice cream - Americone Dream. Sadly, we were unsuccessful.

Eh.. it's that icky cold and wet period before spring gets started. We have big plans for the garden this year:

- Plant blackberry bushes
- Plant blueberry bushes
- Plant tomatoes (for which we need to build a substantial trellis)
- Plant lettuce
- Plant radishes
- Re-landscape front yard
- Redo deck
- Re-seed/sod some grotty areas out front

Let's see how many of those things we actually accomplish before August.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

I am addicted to very few things: good Indian food, those New Zealand Green-lipped Mussels (Hoy Obb) at the Thai Farm restaurant, good espresso and cappucinos, etc.

However, Easter time is the most wonderful time of the year for me, because it is the only time when one can get Cadbury Creme Eggs, to which I am hopelessly addicted.

As a reward to myself for such a successful surgery experience (what do you mean I had nothing to do with it? I went, didn't I?) I bought myself a 4-pack of Eggs at the Giant across the street from my building.

So far I've only allowed myself one. DH bought me two on Monday, and I was such a little piggie I ate both of them that night, instead of waiting to eat them after Wednesday's procedure like I wanted.

Mmmmm. bwock bwock bwock said the Easter bunny!

Emotional response

I've always been a pretty emotional person - not when it comes to decisions or strategy or anything, but rather in my responses to certain events. As I was on the train this morning, reading about the underlying fundamentals that caused last week's stock market fiasco and the evolution of R&D in the American technology sector (yes, articles from this week's Economist) I realized that I was feeling very emotional.

It's not a negative response by any stretch of the imagination. I think that it is finally hitting me that now that I have had the Essure implanted, I'm really going to be free from having children unless I truly and positively choose to have them. Well, free in three months, anyway. I started feeling a surge of energy, like there was a curtain moved away from a sunny window or something, and I was realizing that now, whatever dreams I might have, I can run after them with abandon.

I don't know why I am having this reaction, and I don't know why I didn't really feel this way before. I am certainly pro-choice, so I never felt shackled by the weight of a potential pregnancy before. I guess its the pro-activeness of this particular decision - to permanently prevent pregnancy - that really lit a spark under me.

It's so liberating, so inspiring, so emotional. I want to run to all corners of the earth and receive whatever it has to give. I feel like Maria von Trapp spinning herself dizzy on the tops of the Alps.

I was worried that I would feel sadness or regret, thinking that I've now excluded a possible experience from my life or, since I know myself to be an emotional person, the fact that I now really won't have children would suddenly make me want to have them (some kind of psychological wanting what you can't have type thing). I feel none of that. I feel wonderfully free, and most importantly, I feel utterly devoted to myself. That sounds so self-centered, but it's true. I feel like I can seek and discover whatever I want, unfettered.

It's truly a wonderful feeling.

It's all over but the dancing!

So, it's about 2pm the afternoon after having Essure implants popped into my tubes and I'm feeling okay. A little crampy, but nothing worse than that.

I woke up this morning at about 530am, when a plow noisily drove by the house spreading an inch of unnecessary sand/salt on our street. Thanks MoCo! Total overkill for the flurries! I got showered and dressed, as did DH, and we left the house at 7am for my 830am appointment (I was told to be at the outpatient surgery center by 730 for prep).

When we got to the center, some way too wide awake chick chirpily greeted us and handed us a bunch of forms to sign (financial stuff, patient info stuff, etc) Within minutes I was asked to change out of all my clothes, put on a gown, and get ready for the procedure.

I was a little surprised when they told me I was going to be under general for the procedure. If the Essure springs weren't able to be implanted for some reason, they were going to do a tubal, so maybe that had something to do with it. The nurse tried to stick an IV needle into the back of my right hand, but missed the vein repeatedly, which hurt like heck! Finally, the very nice (and Indian!) anesthesiologist came over and stuck the needle in back of my left hand (my right hand is still sore from the ordeal). The doctor, running a perpetual 15 minutes late, came in and found out that I hadn't been given Topol? (sounded like "turtle" too me, but it was an anti-spasm thing that was supposed to calm my tube in prep for the springs).

I walked into the op room, layed down on the op table (damn was it ever cold in there) and got the shot of Topol, which made my hand with the IV really sore (it felt like the little veins were swelling up). Also, they had that hand at a really awkward position - straight out from my body - which combined with the cold made me pretty uncomfortable. It wasn't for long, though, as Mr. Indian anesthesiologist turned on the juice, and I was asleep.

I woke up with DH by my side and some fairly intense cramping (like super bad PMS). They assesses that I was good to go, the doc showed me some pictures of the devices in my tubes (so cool, I wish I could have them in place of baby pictures to show all my friends) and shortly thereafter DH and I were on the road home.

After any kind of anesthesia, I usually throw-up once and feel a hundred percent better. When I got home, I was pretty uncomfortable from the crampiness, couldn't find a good resting position, tossing and turning; it was pretty bad. For about an hour and a half I tried to get a little food in me to a) get something in my stomach so I could take an Advil and b) get something in my stomach so I would be prone to vomiting and just feel better. I ate half of an English muffin and a couple of spoonfulls of oatmeal, and happily I was puking within 5 minutes, after which I felt so much better that I napped for about two hours.

Now, I feel a little crampy discomfort, but definitely feel like I'll be at work together. Not to mention I'm hungry, and I need to find something real to eat.

The final countdown

This is it! Tomorrow, barring any unforeseen events, weather catastrophes, etc, I will be walking around with a spring in my Fallopian tubes!

So how do I feel tonight? Pretty good, actually. This probably has more to do with a good day at work and whatnot, but whatever. I'm a little nervous - well, more anxious really, just to get this whole ordeal over with.

To get to this point I have had:

Two consultations with the doctor who will perform the surgery, including signing two waivers that I understand that this is permanent, yada, yada yada.

One doctors appointment (that lasted approximately 2.5 minutes) where he swabbed my bajingo for "cultures" to ensure that I did not have chlamydia or gonorrhea (I've not been on any tractors, so I think that I am safe there).

One doctors appointment for a "blood test," which turned out to be a pregnancy test. Lasted 30 seconds.

And now, I can't eat or drink anything after midnight, and have to get up early in the morning to make my way down to the outpatient surgery center. Oh what fun.

I'm sure when I am typing my entry tomorrow, I'll be all bleary from the anathesia and crampy from being violated, but it's all worth it!

This is really turning out to be a borderline pornographic blog, what with the bajingo-talk and Harry Potter naked butt pic. Hmmm, I wonder if I could charge for access?

My family values

This post is partially sparked by this Washington Post article that discusses the trend that richer, more educated people are choosing marriage (and kids) and that poorer, less-educated people are choosing kids, but not marriage.

DH and I certainly fall into the general trend discussed by the article. We're both college-educated, career-oriented, and solidly middle class. We lived together for a while before getting married, but we always knew that marriage was the end state for our relationship.

We diverged from the overall topic of the article as the discussion moved towards kids, but I don't think we're different than the overall trend not discussed in the article, which is choosing not to have children at all. We didn't always think we would be child-free, but once we realized that having children didn't align with out own life goals - both as individuals and as a couple - it was an easy choice.

Easy choice to make, but not an easy choice to defend, I should say.

I often wondered if there was something wrong with us, or with me, because we didn't want kids. In fact, we were fairly hostile to the idea, seeing kids as what people do when they don't know what else to do. For us, there was far too many things left to do to even think about anything else. Our values and life goals simply didn't allow for kids and we weren't willing to sacrifice them to satisfy what "society" seems to predestine.

We're happy to admit we're selfish; I love my DH so much that I don't want to share him, or his attention, with anyone else. We hear friends of ours who just got married talking about kids, and we're incredulous because our immediate reaction is "but you just got married, and there's so much in this world to see and do. Don't you want to enjoy each other first?" Of course, I have to immediately recognize that I am projecting my own values onto their lives, and since I don't want to be a hypocrite, have to shut up.

Regardless of what one's personal life values and goals are, the brilliant thing is having the choice. I acknowledge that I am fortunate enough to live in a time and a society which, for the most part, does accept that women are more than breeding machines.

Are my feelings based on my class? Probably. I am sure that I am much more aware of what's out there to see and do, and place much more value on seeing and doing those things, than the average high school graduate with no college degree. Another place, another time, another upbringing, and who knows what my values would be.

On non-motherhood...

I have debated on whether or not to blog about this, but then I realized how few women were informed about this option (even I didn't know about it until CC told me last year while we were on vacation!) and I feel like if women are googling for a non-tubal ligation option for permanent BC, they might come across this entry.

On Wednesday I am going in to have Essure implants, well, implanted. I'm 30 years old, married for almost 6 years, childfree and loving it. DH and I have no plans to ever have children and no desire to be parents. We've used almost every BC (birth control) method imagined: pills, the patch, condoms, and the sponge. I've no desire to have an IUD, since my image of them is tainted by its checkered history, and hormonal BC is just too disruptive; I have no libido, gain weight, and probably am a little depression-proned when I am on it. The recent scare about the dangers and risks of being on the Patch marked the end of hormonal BC for me.

So, after research, confirming it's covered by my insurance, and many long talks with DH confirming that we definitely we're okay with taking this option off the table (in theory, if we change our minds, we can adopt or go through IVF, but I'm highly doubtful we'll change our minds) I've scheduled the procedure for Wednesday.

I'm so excited - both for the peace of mind that it will bring and for all my female friends. I've had several friends who, when they learned what I was doing, begged me to give them the name of my doctor and update them on how things went. So that's what I'll do this week on the blog - add some posts about how I got to this decision, what the technical bits of my experience are, how the surgery itself goes, etc. I'm hoping that other women out there in googling for information will find and be informed by my experience.

My one guilty pleasure in all of this; if I ever get really pissed at my MIL for asking "when are you guys going to have kids" I'll tell her about the procedure and revel in her frustration! Yes, I'm evil. Aren't you glad I'm not having kids.

Yeah, I'll admit it, I'm curious and I'd pay to see it

So, not meaning to be late to the party of anything, but I've just finished reading "Equus," and I'm not ashamed to admit that my interest in the play was sparked by the brouhaha over the actor who plays Harry Potter starring in the play's London revival. After reading the play, I think it sounds like he might be a bit posh for the role (the character is supposed to be pretty low-brow) but damn, what a body.


Now, I'm certainly not ashamed to admit this either. I'd pay mad money to see him in the play.

Gosh, this is borderline porno on this blog, isn't it?

P.S. I just realized that DH and Harry Potter have the same butt. Lucky me!

P.P.S. Hmmm. One thing more, then I'll stop. Where's the twig and berries in that second photo? I mean, wouldn't they show in that pose? Maybe they're taped off to the left? Hmmm.