What's the hype about: Brokeback Mountain

Rather than going out to a movie, which meant subjecting my experience to the rude and immature public that frequently ruins it with cell phones and attempts to create their own MST3K, I decided to stay in and "rent" a movie through the Comcast on Demand feature. I popped popcorn, had my lime-flavored water, allowed a kitten to curl up with me, and watched "Brokeback Mountain."

What a bunch of schlock! I mean, really. The entire movie is cobbled together vignettes that seem to have little or no relation with one another. I think that Jake and Heath are utterly unbelievable (I couldn't get Toby Maguire out of my head every time Jake was on the screen, and what was with the porn 'stash - it didn't age him, it made him look ridiculous), there doesn't seem to be any logical development. What is the deal with Ennis's relationship with his daughter? Why does Heath have to talk as if his mouth was full of marbles - geez I watched Trainspotting last night and understood heavy Scottish dialect more easily than I could interpret whatever the hell Heath was mumbling. Anne Hathaway was gorg (even with the Texas blond hair) but what was the point of her?

I don't know, maybe I'm missing all kinds of hidden messages or something, but this was a terrible movie. There were so many logical inconsistencies (what, they didn't fish at all? You've got to be kidding me) and there was no logic as to why we had to jump from scene to scene (what was the point of the waitress character?).

Ugh. What a bunch of tripe.

Oh yeah, once you forget how crappy the story and the characters are, then there is the uber-annoying music. UBER annoying music that seemed to say "Gay moment ahead;" the entire movie seemed to be so conscious of it's "progressiveness" that it had to shout it at every opportunity. Look, here's a real progressive movie because we feature two gay men as main characters. Whatever.